Love in Capital “?”

They say not everyone will like you or tolerate your personality. They say some will dislike you without any tangible reasons. Finally, they say genuine love; indeed, it is difficult to find.

Well, I agree to some, but I will avoid acknowledging the latter because my understanding of love is a bit different.

My honest opinion is love MUST be you first before you can partake with others. Many cannot show affection to others because they lack that affection. Life is about 50-50, which means what you are is what you will give out. You cannot give to others what you don’t have. Most perpetrators of domestic violence are themselves victims of unwanted children whereby they grew up without anyone ever telling them they are loved, or they grew up witnessing the spiral of abuse within their extended family.

People who pretend to love others suffer from within themselves. It is all about personality. We grew up becoming how we are raised. This is why the usual saying that children born within wealthy circles tend to stay within that circle while those born in abject or unstable environment tends to bend towards that similar environment.

It is similar to love. If you don’t have it naturally within you, you will continue to live in denial of experiencing true love.

The People Concerned (4)

My immediate younger sister died of epilepsy. As this neurological disorder can start anytime and to anyone, hers began when she was in her first year in secondary school. Then it became frequent, thus forcing the school to inform us to keep her at home until she gets better. Well, she never goes back, and that was the end of her schooling. In a society where beliefs in witchcraft and the supernatural collide with each other, Tara, who real name I chose to conceal here, was tagged a witch or sometimes evil possessed. Many so-called Pastors, Imams, and Traditional healers fed on our money as they promised to heal her. All were lies. The hyper-expensive epileptic drugs only worked if we could afford it. Her illness destroyed the family. Our father ran off. We lost everything.

The most disturbing was Tara’s solitude that many of my families failed to see and if they do, they pretend not to notice. I guess everyone has their ways of dealing with damaged family relationships. Tara was compelled to stay indoors. She never complained but, I could see she was lonely. We were her only points of contact. Her feeble look meant she must go into her room when we have visitors because her health has deteriorated beyond control. I had confrontations with our mother about this as she was the one controlling where Tara must be or what she must do. The truth is I never got over it. By the time Tara died after fifteen years of battling this illness, I was relieved for her that at last, her suffering is over. But like myself, I soon found out many of my siblings had issues with our mother because of Tara.

I am writing this because many people do not know how to handle their people with disabilities. No one wants to be locked up in exclusionary states. I’d recall my mother used to lock up Tara if she had to go out and no one is in the house with both of them. As I said, I had troubles with this because Tara was no longer a child then. She was a full-grown adult!

People with disabilities experience solitude because of the shortage of inclusion in many areas. For illustration, Tara never stepped out of the house until our mother said so. She used to follow us to the church in the early stage of her illness and then our mother ended it.

It takes the compassion of God for us Christians to look beyond the infirmities of those with disabilities to genuinely understand their sufferings, in particular, loneliness. They did not choose it, and contrary to certain unfounded beliefs, these people desire an active life like us, which is a disabled-Free. Do we have to lock them up? Must we exclude them from our everyday activities? Are we ashamed to show them to our friends and neighbours? What kind of Christians are we?

The People Concerned (3)

Solitude is one fastest killer of the older people. While being alone can sometimes be a benefit to one’s health, it is unsafe for the elderly.

Pappy, my neighbour, is a father and a widower in his early 90s and he lives alone. It was his choice. He has children, and then his two housekeepers who come in at different days of the week. Also, he has the town council who comes every day to deliver his freshly prepared daily meals. The latter happens to be the rules of the mayor to catering for the older adults in our small town of 10,000 people.

There is no doubt that Pappy would instead prefer to live in his own house than in a retired home. Sharing one’s life with a beloved is much better than spending it all by oneself.

Most times, Pappy often talked about his late wife, how he missed her, and then his reduced mobility. I’d recall he used to drive four years ago until one day he put an end to that and sold the car to one of his granddaughters. Throughout those years he would mow his lawn, plants salades and other legumes. He taught me a lot about planting, and he helped me fix a broken electric cable my mower accidentally cut off.

The years had passed, and with times, Pappy struggles with an ultimate sense of solitude. Unlike in the West Africa societies where the elderly are barely left on their own because their children will ensure someone lives in with them, the many older people in the Western spaces are resigned to being alone. Most retired homes are unfit, in particular, when hearing cases of maltreatment of the elderly being exposed over there. Besides, many people abandon their aged parents to flee their responsibilities. In such cases, they violated the care of ethics.

When you have neighbours like Pappy, my suggestion is that, as a genuine Christian, it becomes a necessity to always check on them either by telephoning or a simple walk straight to their door while maintaining a healthy distance.

Shalom.

The Leper & the Chinese

The lepers stayed outside the gate because no one wanted them. In like manner, the Chinese are being stigmatised because everyone thinks they are responsible for the Coronavirus.

I participated in the ongoing International Toy Fair in Nuremberg, Germany until this evening; The salon is where one expects to meet with lots of business people like us as it is strictly for professionals. Among these are worldwide manufacturers of different toys, and in particular, Chinese manufacturers and trading companies.

Due to the ongoing global alert about the Coronavirus that started in Wuhan, China, there has been ongoing stigmatisation of the Chinese in France. Most of them are dual nationals, and they have started reporting maltreatment that ranges from people hurling unpleasant words at them; some refusing to sit in transport with them, and so many disgusting behaviours towards these Chinese people.

Then I witnessed it myself. Before arriving at Nuremberg, part of the business agreement we had was to visit the China booth at the salon. That was what we did. At the salon, the companies were distributed across Hall 1 to 12. The China booth was in Hall 10, although there were lots of Chinese companies dispersed here and there. However, the majorities had their stands at Hall 10. To get there, we had to go through all the halls, and we started at Hall 3. We stopped and visited many stands in several buildings. There, we found it challenging to discuss with many manufacturers because there were so many people. We ended exchanging cards, promising to get in touch.

Shockingly, when we reached Hall 10 where the Chinese companies, it was deserted. We can count one or two Europeans there; otherwise, the rest were Chinese business people. Then it dawned on me! Everyone fled this section because of the Coronavirus. Majority of the toys we passed at the other halls were produced in China. Unfortunately, at this critical time, everyone seems to be running away from the Chinese.

Such an attitude reveals the hypocrisy of people. It was like this during the Ebola virus. People avoided Africans as if they were plagues. Unlike Jesus, no one in our world wants to die for the other. It has turned to be ‘To your tent, oh individual ‘. The truth must be told that a virus is no respecter of any location or person just like death. Why stigmatise? Why the hatred?

Who provides support for those in need if people ran away?

The People Concerned (2)

Leaving one’s family and friends to go away to another country does not come easily. A migrant lost part of his or her identity the day they said goodbye to their loved ones and move on to a new country. It does not matter whether they are people of colour or white. Everything changes the day they leave home. They have no idea when they will see their parents or whether the latter will still be alive when they have the opportunity to visit their country of origin.

Abraham obeyed God and left Haran. He did not complain but chose to follow and moved with his wife, Sarah. Although, the Bible never said Abram was lonely. Still, he was because he was human.

Migrants are one of the people concerned. No one can tell their stories that are full of anxiety, rejection, stigmatisation and exclusion.

Before pointing accusing at these migrants and blaming them for taking away your jobs, it’s better to compare oneself to them

The People Concerned (1)

Any references to this verse are often attributed to companionship between a man and a woman. However, this biblical verse extends beyond this and applies to any discussion about the plague affecting many people. This plague is called LONELINESS. It is a silent killer that attack the invisible people. I called them invisible because they are more or less regarded as that.

Categories of those suffering loneliness are the,

⁃ People with disabilities

⁃ The elderly

⁃ Migrants

Still, there is another group of people that are often omitted from the list mentioned above because many think they do not fit in. These are women who are victims of domestic violence. How many of those around these women truly understand them? Some may say they do, but, the truth is, do they? Having to speak to someone within and outside their circles may not always offer them the ultimate solution to getting out of the abuse. No one can better understand the victims than the victims themselves. Therefore, as Christians, it is best not to engage in any discussion of offering to pray for these women when what they do need at that instance is the way out of their abusive relationships. Prayer is great but, applying common sense is preferable. When fellow Christians fail to listen and offer practical advice, these abused women experience profound loneliness that can aggravate the situations and lead to brutal consequences.

Go With God

Renowned Basketball player Kobe Bryant died, and the world cried. Some are still moaning because not only was he a footballer, but he added values to the lives of many people who would not have gotten the chances. He was their angel in disguise.

However, to some people, Bryant was a rapist, and not only that he was black; ultimately to be categorised as a negro. The problem with those who saw the wrong sides of this man as they are living within the sphere of symbolic imaginary where godly compassion is wanting.

As a feminist, I am confronted by people, men and women, who take pleasure in humbling facts and fictions because they barely take out the time to analyse their words before they let them out. They pour them out without caution. As women, we hate being told the truth because we don’t want others to see our weaknesses. Therefore, we hide behind the collectivism, such as the #MeToo or the #ShowYourself female strength revivals.

I am not counterattacking here or denying there are no monsters out there who had committed the worst atrocities ever. What is disturbing is how some folks can deny the existence of human sympathies at this moment to Bryant and his family. This was a man who not only died in that crash, but, he equally lost his daughter. Besides, seven other people died alongside them. Days ago, they were all with their families. I bet they would not have boarded that ill-fated helicopter if someone had told them they are going to crash. Still, death is no respecter of anybody. Think of the bereaved families before you judge the dead.

When people died, they do not exist anymore. Whatever they may have done in the past linger on but, with time, these acts, whether good or bad, will also fade away. They say that people will always be remembered for the service they rendered to their communities. However, I argue that people’s physical bodies may be retained but, when it comes to their spiritual lives, then they will have to make that out with their makers.

No one is freed from sins. It is when people’s secrets are revealed that everyone realises their atrocities. We all are guilty at one time or the other. When we have collective actions to make things right, we do so because we desire to change our societies. We can be feminists, child support activists, climate change activists, anti-gun fighters or whatever. All of these we are because we are favoured by God to breathe and have the capability to do them.

But what happens when we are deprived of our physical strength and bodies, when we are no longer alive? What happens when the man is gone back to the soil, and his or her soul is gone to the giver of life? Can they still be judged on earth and be found guilty? It could be. Nonetheless, the question is who then are we to judge them after they’ve gone.

There ought to be limitations of what we put out there on the web and the substantial need to curtail our emotions. What else is left after all our struggles? Irrespective of who you are, celebrity or not, death is your definitive ending.

My Way is My Way

In some situations, people don’t like those who take pleasure in having their ways, and there is a good reason for this.

When Cain killed his brother, he did it out of jealousy. His sacrifice was not accepted. God found fault with many of his attitudes, but, Cain probably saw no reasons why he is considered different.

Jacob was another example. He wanted the firstborn heritage at all cost even when he knew there were severe repercussions for that. It took him not long to obtain the blessings destined for Esau from their father.

Having your way all the time is toxic, inimical and disastrous not only to oneself but to those in your world. If things were out of your reach, then it would be because these were not supposed to be yours. It is as a result of the me-me attitudes that many marriages no longer stand the test of times. The me-me has pushed many families out of the spheres of collective relationships into the lairs of hatred and separation. Friends are no more significant because others failed to meet up to expectations.

Take off this dangerous me-me attitude(s), and you will realise how much little things of life are the most important.

His Praise Richly Deserves

The first thing we do when we wake every morning is to jump off the bed is to run around for the day. We hasten around throughout the day because we want to get things done. However, many of do not provide the chances to pause for one moment to praise Jehovah. We have so much going for us, and our hands are full to the extent that God becomes secondary like our summer cabin cars that we make use of merely for a few months.

In other words, we ended up certifying God as our seasonal necessity that we only go to when calamity struck.

The Bible says, “Let all that I am praise the Lord (Psalm 103:1). Who will praise Jehovah if we don’t? How do we be partakers of His companionship if we don’t show Him our appreciation?

Unreasonable Parent

Throughout his lifetime, his father has been a pain and the cause of his death. Jonathan did not deserve to die when it happened. If Saul were not standing in his way, Jonathan would have lived. The truth is, many people do not deserve to be parents, but they don’t want to accept this reality. The desire to have a child or more, supersede the honest acknowledgement of the incapacity to be a parent.

Saul was only interested in winning the war and not in the well-being of his son or his soldiers who had to fight with emptied stomachs. Parenthood demands to be there, even when being there is impossible. This is because raising a child is a full-time job. It is not the job of the school teachers to do the role of the parents. It is not the duty of the church to be the nanny for the child. To be a mother is to be a true mother, and this is vice versa for the father. When a government decides everyone can get free access to medically assisted IVF to have children, they ignore the aftermath and the years of raising these children. How many adults are psychologically and emotionally stable to be parents?

Therefore, please, do not attempt to have any children or adopt any of you are incapable of accepting any responsibility of parenthood. There is nothing that hurt God most than abandoning one’s child as we have seen in the case of Hagar (Genesis 21:17).

God at the Deathbed

It bothers me when people say they do not believe God exists or believe in Him. So real everyone has the rights to his or her personal beliefs; after all, our world is about exercising one’s fundamental human rights.

However, that supposedly ‘rights’ is not applicable where the fundamental principles of spirituality are concerned, most importantly, when the individual alone must face his or her choice at the point of death. I still wonder how atheist negotiate the ends of their life before the final light dims out. Since death does not send invitations ahead to announce its arrival, some are taken away within the snapshots of seconds, which means they never get the time to amend and reconcile with their maker. On the other angle are those who face death and perhaps knew they are going to go anyway, and here, we ask whether they ever find this precious moment to tune in to the Holy Spirit.

We often ask why good people die earlier and the bad ones live longer. I believe that is God alone who decides who has to go and when. Also, I think the wicked ones are allowed to live longer so they can repent before it is too late.

Still, if they do not, they should not expect the Almighty to spare them.

May God bless us all.

The Bittersweet Taste of Indecency

Have you ever asked why some people think they can commit any crimes and get away from it? Have you ever wondered why people find it so easy to do things that are sinful to God? Do you find yourself realising that sins have been perfected in several ways that make them look right and justifiable?

The Offering Basket

Have you ever heard of people stealing church’s offerings or breaking into cathedrals to go away with religious relics?

Late last year, some folks broke into the cathedral in d’Oloron-Sainte-Marie , a town in the department of Pyrénées-Atlantiques, in southwest France. They succeeded in stealing valuable liturgical objects. The fact is, this was not the first time incident like this are happening. Many cathedrals are mugged without any difficulties.

Somehow, the places of worship are now becoming the hotspots for the greedy people simply because these places have lesser security reinforced. Today, a so-called professional thief disguised as a Christian and serving as usher can dip hands into the offering basket to assist him or herself.

If there was no more honest Apostle like Peter in the days of Ananias and Sapphira, it is essential to remember that the eyes of the Almighty God are everywhere (Proverbs 15:3). He is watching.

The Ziba(s) of our World

Every second, minute, hour, and the day, it seems like People With Disabilities (PWD) must live under constant struggles to survive.

On the street, they must fight for their rights to be respected, to be given their parking spaces, to be able to use the public amenities without any need to provide accountability to others, and most demanding, the right to move freely without fixed gazes.

At home, the PWD are either loved or unloved. They are either manipulated, by their biological members of their family, for material gratification, or they are forced to endure issues such as abuse and silent internal discrimination.

Overall, anyone who falls with the category of the PWD is the “scapegoat” of the normal society where what is hors norm is unacceptable. However, the question is; who is normal and who is not?

The likes of Ziba permeate every structure of the human society and as such, social interactions are regulated, most disturbingly for the PWD. The former consciously or vice versa determine the daily prospects of the disabled. Where there are legislations or established mechanisms purported to ease life for the PWD, one often finds out that such regulations are useful only in papers. For instance, lack of functioning accessibility to the transport stations or lack of inclusion of the PWD into community social engagements.

I conclude that the PWD are not and should not be other people’s scapegoats that anyone can take them for granted.

May God helps us.

Hypocrites!

Several times I come across people who profess to be Christians but, their attitudes toward others exhibit silent discrimination.

To be a Christian implies emulating the character of Christ. He did not ignore prostitutes, witches, deceitful tax collectors, beggars, migrants, and the disabled. He was there for them even if other people usually surrounded him.

Today, intolerance and a sense of me-first have taken the global stage. Everywhere, people focus on themselves first, and if anyone tried to step in their ways, they did mind revealing their real characters. However, these people are the first to tell anyone they are Christians. They go to church more than even their pastor. They are the best praying people. And worst of all, they can quote the Bible verses from Genesis to Revelation, and then they do not mind attempting to fight anyone who questions their Christianity.

Hypocrites never accept those are what they are. Being humble does not mean one is ready to let other trampled over one’s head. On the contrary, humility and other attributes of our Lord Jesus Christ, support His existence. People turn to Christ when a true believer proves it.

Shalom!