Year after year it was the same—Peninnah would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Each time, Hannah would be reduced to tears and would not even eat.
(1 Samuel 1:7 NLT)
“Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.” (Romans 13:10)
Parental Alienation is a big issue. The desire for revenge knows no limit. Divided couples at discord are ready to do whatever it takes to make sure that the other person pays the price for their separation. To get that done, their child becomes the weapon of reprisal. In most cases, the parent that has the most custody of the children tends to be the ultimate perpetrator.
Divorce or separation affects both Christians and non-Christians alike. At the onset, no couples expected that their union would end in the destructive paths. Everyone dreams of that, ‘forever until death do us apart’. But what to do when a relation breaks down? In general, those without offspring have lesser issues to resolve afterwards. It is either each of them decided to maintain future contact or just go their individual ways.
Even so, estranged couples with children are bound together for life. They either like it or not. The fact that they had contributed to bring forth a life stipulates that they are liable for the welfare of that being. Sometimes both of them wish to have 100% of the child’s custody even when they are aware that with this impossibility. To come back and live under the same roof seems like an abomination. They feel that they are through with each other and there is no way of going backward.
Well…their child is there! They knew they just have to care for the child. They long to have that child with them. They want to gain that child’s trust because they believe that each of them is fair and the other one is wrong. They consider this to be the fault of the other person that their union fell apart.
Now come to think of these. When a father tells his child that his mother (which is his ex-wife) is a slut. The question is, was she a whore when he first married her? Even if she was, did he acknowledge her that way? Of course, he would have otherwise they would not have gone into the holy matrimony and they would not have borne with that child.
When a mother never stops telling her children that their father (her ex-husband) is a useless man. Was he a nonentity when she first saw him? When did he become irresponsible?
The estimation is that there is no winner in the battle of child custody. The final supposed custodian does have indescribable loads of responsibilities ahead. And the ultimate loser of the child custody may not be ready and willing to give up the legal battle.
Countless children have wondered why in the first place they were born. They had grown up believing otherwise but then get confused when their parents are not going spend the rest of their lives together. The truth is that we do not get to choose the type of family to belong. God places us where we are now and there is nothing that we can do to correct it. We may take up the initiative to enhance our lives, our family livelihood but we cannot alter our upbringing.
In my last post, I’d mention God’s creation of family structure. To create Eve indicated that the Lord’s intention for procreation. He wants us to multiply and to worship Him. He expects us to serve Him without any ambiguity in our hearts. Never was it our Father’s wishes that we must get a divorce from the ones we loved.
But, the sin of the first Adam, God’s perfect plan for man to dwell forever in Eden was slashed without reservation. Today, by the sacrificial blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are making things rights to God. We are not perfect. And on earth, no family is perfect. The only perfection comes from God. All divorced Christian couples close the doors of their hearts to each other. Irrespective, they should pay special attention to protect their children from alienation. Without bias, they should preserve harmonious space for these little ones to experience both parents. Instigating children to develop hatred for the other parent is sinful and unforgiving in God’s eye.
May we find grace to turn toward God’s Geniune love and teach our children to love their other parent rather than plot to savage their bond.