I was raised by a mother who did everything she could to make me and my siblings hate my father. Clearly, ‘hate’ is a big word and perhaps, you would have preferred the term ‘dislike’ instead. My mother’s speech, reactions and actions when my father was around or not, made her the best of all the mothers. She created her perfect model at the cost of her family.
I have heard many situations like mine, especially when the fathers no longer live in the house. Unhappily, the mothers’ gestures to bring themselves to the good side always end in grave consequences when the children grow up.
One day, I had a conversation with my father about the household. He said he would not have left home if he had had peace of mind. He bore his own faulty part of the broken affair. However, anyone who spends considerable time with my mother, would have known he or she is meeting a fire. Some of her friends call her ‘Iron lady’. It is not an issue being a disciplinarian. What becomes a problem is when one cannot maintains limitation. This can destroy relationships either consciously or the other direction.
Abigail was a smart woman. She really valued her social life. She respected her dignity. Wisdom saved Abigail from being massacred alongside Nabal. Women who manage their lives through Godly wisdom preserve immense happiness for themselves and those in their lives. It is not wisdom, not just for women, but also for men, to always want to have the last words.
The day I realised the need to block my mother’s unpleasant characters was the day I found myself advising my younger sister not to treat her husband and children in the same way our mother did. I hope by doing so to prevent any unwanted vicious circles in our lives.